Sunday, July 24, 2011

Rocco's Lymph Nodes are large

I'm not sure where to began. Last week we were told Rocco would probably live 1-2 months. One week on and is lymph nodes are getting bigger by the day. I think this week or next will be his last. This is very hard to deal with. One reason it's hard is because Rocco is not a old dog with chronic problems and pain. He is a happy 6 year old dog. He loves to tug every morning. He loves to go on his walks and eat. He loves to say hi and meet people. His spirit is indomitable. He's been through a lot. Being picked up as a stray. Spending over half a year in narrow concrete and chain link kennel at the old shelter. Getting giardia and mange there. He has been to the vet so many times. He's been stuck with needles all over his front and back legs, his chest, his jaw. He has been given toxic chemicals time and time again. If ever there was a dog that should resent going to the vet it should be him. Yet he is always happy and excited to go there. Not for needles or drugs but for every person who will even take a second to make eye contact with him. When I first got Rocco I remember taking him to my uncles storage unit. I took him there because the facility is fenced and I wanted to see what he would do if I let him off leash. I took the leash off and walked away from him, around the corner down row of storage units. I stopped and looked, he tentatively came around the corner and looked me in the eye. He then walked up to me. I knew then that Rocco and I had a special bond. He is my faithful friend and I his. I feel sick at what is happening. I have much trouble sleeping. I stay awake and think about Rocco. I can't take care of him anymore, only comfort him until his death. I know life is not fair and it just is what it is but I think this is bull shit. He is 6 years old and 2 of those years were living with cancer and 2 were spent in a shelter/on the street/living with people who most likely did not give a shit about him. A good dog like him deserves better. We should have taken him around class today for goodbyes. Don't know if he'll be back.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Rocco's Vet Appointment

Rocco had a vet visit today to administer a chemo drug he took three weeks ago for the first time. When the vet personally called me while Rocco was there I knew it was not good news. Rocco's lymph nodes had gotten harder and larger. The chemo drug didn't work. His chemo appointment was canceled today as the drug we were going to give him is ineffective.

His options are:
-Try 1 of the 2 other drugs that also have a 50% chance of success (success being an extra 2-3 months of life average)
-No more drugs and let him live until he is not comfortable any more. The vet thinks this will mean 1-2 months for him.

Alicia and I had said previously that we would try this one drug and if it didn't work that's it. The other drugs have the same odds, come with side effects, and high costs. We'll talk tonight when she gets back.

The good news is the failed chemo drug didn't damage his liver and Rocco feels great. He plays, eats, goes on walks, and thinks everybody at the vet is the best person ever. I'm glad dogs live in the moment and don't worry about death. We'll try and make his remaining time the best we can for him. Will post any updates here.